Change sucks..or does it?

cpil

Hey, just letting you know that we aren’t going to Krispy Kreme’s now, we are going out for dinner at that new sushi restaurant”
Not that serious.. for some. But to me, it’s like you’ve just told me that instead of getting my ears pierced I’m getting my toe cut off. That might be a bit extreme, but.. Oh well.

Change, whether it be a different restaurant or a different house to live in – stuffs me right up.
I’m not big on new, or different. I use to be alright with it!! But now, not so much.

If I’m going to go out for dinner with a friend, I have to know a week or more in advance, not just so I can make sure someone can watch the girls for a little while, but for myself. I’ve got to really mentally prepare for it. So, if a change does happen – it’s as though I haven’t had that week to mentally prepare.

They say that change is the one constant in life, well that’s just great.. because I suck at it.
Some people welcome change with open arms and a big smile, others – fucking run…

changey

Accepting change is hard.
My partner has just changed jobs.

He had been at his previous job for the entire duration that I have known him. So when he said he wanted to venture and try something new, widen his skills, I was supportive.. yet freaking out.

Man, I was so stressed.
New job meant a lot of changes. Also a whole lot of money stress in the lead up to the change.

I was absolutely over the top freaking out mentally. Now, even though it’s all good, all done, I still feel uncomfortable.

It’s been 2 or so weeks since he has worked at a new job and he loves it. Why do I care about the change?!

New job means new people.
I don’t know these people, I don’t know what they do, and I’m so paranoid of it causing change, whether in him, me or anything.

In all honestly, I haven’t really adjusted. How stupid does that sound! He moves jobs yet, I’m the one that hasn’t “adjusted” haha!

What. The. Fuck, right!?
But it’s the truth.

Right now, I feel like I never will ‘adjust’. He seems different already. Which of course he is. Hanging around different people, being more tired.. A lot more tired. – I get it. But I don’t have to like it.

I’m actually grateful for change – I hate it, and hardly ever want it – but I guess if it didn’t happen, life would be boring. Life wouldn’t actually happen.

We are born, changing.
Not breathing air ➙ breathing air.
Someone wiping our arse ➙ wiping it ourselves.
Chunky leg rolls are cute ➙ now they’re not..unfortunately

If it wasn’t for change – I wouldn’t be able to self improve..and that’s something I really need to do.

Right now, I’m writing this as I wait for my floors to dry and all I can think of – how much has actually already changed that I wasn’t completely aware of or maybe, just not bothered by.

So I guess – MAYBE, I can embrace changes.
I’ll try to look at change a different way.
Instead of what can go wrong – maybe I can try finding the benefit of the different.

Although, some change does fucking suck.
But now I realise- yeah, some does suck, but most importantly – some doesn’t.

Let me be like the caterpillar, as he turns into the butterfly.. But with a longer lifespan.
♪ Ch-ch-ch-ch changes ♪

butterfly

Author: kaselea

Mother of two. Sarcastic, honest, overthinker and a little crazy

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